Category: Josh Feingold Blog

In business, we have meetings all the time to discuss what needs to be done, but when was the last time that you had a meeting to discuss yourself?

The agenda for such a meeting is surprisingly simple.  You ask, what am I doing or not doing out of fear, that I should be doing?

From there, you plan your course of action, then bravely push beyond that fear, and move forward.

I have often had times in my life that I felt stuck.  What this really was, was an unwillingness on my part to bravely push forward – which always involved some risk, and therefore, fear.

So, establish a weekly meeting with yourself, to discuss those areas where you are stuck, and plan a way to change.

Otherwise, you will languish in dissatisfaction with yourself, and therefore, in life.

When is your next meeting with yourself?

I grew up in a religious environment, and have had the opportunity for people to learn lessons from religious texts.  Looking around, it does seem that most preachers tend to do this and I wanted to throw in my two cents on this practice.

The neat thing about stories is that they can be read in many ways.  So the problem is that when you read a story into the text, you are just using the text to further your own means.  It becomes a self-fulfilling loop.

Here is a very simple version of the logic:

Why does God exist?  Because the bible says He does.  Why does the bible say he does?  Because God exists.

Of course, when we read into the text, we are simply using our modern day lenses and forcing the message back into the text, whether or not the message was actually meant that way.

So pay attention to sermons, and what people tell you the good book is saying.  Ask yourself, if the message is really there, or is being forced back in.  What other ways or reading it are there?

I thought I would take a few minutes and share my views, to date, on religion.

Currently, from my own personal experience, I have found that we are all interconnected, to include people to people and people to world.  I can’t take it any farther than that.

It is my belief that on this base, religion has a place to grasp on, and allows people to buy into the beliefs expounded by whatever religion they believe in.  It is based on the premise that once we feel a little truth exists, we can buy into the whole package.

However, I have yet to find a religion (defined as a group of people telling the individual what God has said they must do to prevent damnation) that did not rely on experiences that that happened to one person or was purported to happen to a nation long ago.  This, in my mind, is the main weakness with religious claims, which is further impacted by the fact that most of the stories of religions, can be found in different models in other ancient peoples.

However, with that in mind, I don’t totally throw out the value of religious texts.

In fact, I think it is healthy in that there is much wisdom held within religious teachings that can help us grow as individuals.  However, I don’t believe it is God given, rather, is just recycled materials from those who studied human nature earlier on – and in many cases really got it.

What I do take issue with is 1) the assumption of what happens after death 2) the actions that religions impose on their believers to keep bad things from happening based on the previous point.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing I would rather have than a guide to this confusing path we call life, however, religion as I have seen it is too fishy, just to buy into hook, line, and sinker.

I was thinking about power struggles in relationships, and came to realize that these struggles come from a place of fear.

If you think about it, relationships are very precarious.  To be intimate, you have to let down your guard, and take a risk that they other person, might not reciprocate or leave.

So how, do we manage our own fear that this may happen.  We try to control the other person, using “power”.  Of course, the other person, then has to play into this and defend themselves, using “power.”  Next thing you know, you have a power struggle in the relationship.  Ironically, you have turned what you want more than anything to be intimate, into, a war with retracted sides!

So what are we to do, if we want to have an intimate relationship?  We must share our fears with our significant other so they don’t become passive aggressive or even aggressive places of battle.  In doing this, we become closer, and the optimum result of a relationship can be achieved.

Think about those areas where you are afraid in your relationship, and share them with your significant other.  You’ll feel free, and can watch the power struggles dissolve away.

I noticed this idea in a few books recently, and it is a very important thought that bears repeating.

As we know, everyone is their own world.  As such, everything that people do or say, is a direct result of the world that they are living in, which includes their entire life experience and the model that they have built on it.

So when people reject us, or insult us, there really is no reason to take it personally.  It’s just their worldview being expressed, based on how they are feeling in that particular moment.

In fact, if they are insulting you, the truth is that you should feel sorry for them.  Because, if they were happy with their life, they wouldn’t saying things that made you feel bad.  Simply put, happy people, don’t have energy for negativity, and don’t want to increase their own negative state.  Period.  So if they are insulting to you, really the appropriate response is, “How sad for them, that they aren’t happy.”

Of course, if we ourselves aren’t happy yet, it is because we don’t yet know and appreciate ourselves (which we discussed yesterday) and then we are going to take it personally, because “Maybe they are right!”  However, even in that case, it is important to realize that it’s nothing personal, it’s just another person’s perspective on life.